Dear Monica Lewinsky

Oh look! Someone wrote me a letter!

I guess the best way to start this letter is to say hi and ask how you are doing today. So hi! How are you doing? How is your life in London? I really don’t want to be one of those people who just say “Hey you’re a whore!” because that’s not what this letter is about. Well, I guess in a round about way it is, but no. This letter is about how you changed the name Monica for me when I was in kindergarten and first grade. I figured that life would be simple with a name like Monica. But I was wrong.

See I had no idea who you were when the whole scandal or as you call it “mutual relationship” with President Clinton happened around 1996. I was only about 4 years old at the time and the only thing I knew about politics was that Clinton was the president and that the Mayor of Chicago was a Daley. But that was it. That was all I knew. So think about how shocked I was when the older kids started calling me Monica Lewinsky.

It started when I was Kindergarten in 1997. I was 5 and the new thing about politics I learned was that George Washington was the first President and that Abraham Lincoln was the 16th. At the catholic school I went to, we wore uniforms and went to morning mass every Thursday at 8:15 AM. After mass on one Thursday, something must have been on the news about you, because all of a sudden, the older kids started to say weird things to me.

“You are a home wrecker.”

“Monica Losewinsky.”

“Did you kiss him on the mouth or on the-”

“Wow, who knew he went after younger girls like you.”

“You should ashamed.”

“Why would your parents name you after that whore?”

How would those kids know what a "whore" looks like?

I didn’t quite understand what they were saying or what they meant. And when ever they would ask me why my parents named me after you, I told them they didn’t since they named me after the Saint. The older kids would then laugh and tell me that my parents supported home wreckers. Imagine the reaction my parents had when I told them what happened. I was so young and I was hearing “Whore” and “Home Wrecker”. They marched up to the school and talked to the principal. Then the principal, a older Irish Nun with red-orange hair, talked to the kids in 5-8th grade.. And boy did they get a lecture. And for a while, I didn’t hear people call me Monica Lewinsky. Not until I learned who you were until I was a little older. Out of the age of innocents and into the age of learning about life itself. I learned about what happened and started to understand how stupid the older kids at my Catholic school were. How could they claim that my parents named me after you when I was born before your whole ordeal. I mean that was kinda stupid right?

However the whole point to this letter is to ask you for an apology. Your mistakes hurt me when I was little. Even though I had no clue what you did or who you were, it really hurt me. I just wish things could change, but of course you can’t rewind time. After something has been done, you can’t change it.


Monica From Chicago

At least she said it was a mutual relationship...